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Post by jons on Nov 21, 2006 15:19:45 GMT
I can reveal to you now the track listing for Hayley’s new album: “The Super-Duper Classical Mega-Mix Megatron Album’:
1. The Pokemon Song
2. You Are Ninety Per Cent Water
3. Never Heard Blue Like That (From ‘Ramsey’s Kitchen’)
4. Across The Supermarket In Time To Get The Best Bargains
5. Hayley’s Space Odyssey
6. Moon River Of Dreams (Water, the Moon and dreams together at last!)
7. I Have Wind (From ‘The Result of a Dodgy Curry’.)
8. Who Painted the Hall Black (Think about it!)
9. Heathcliff, Its Me, I’m Cathy, I’ve Come Home Now. Are You Gonna Put The Kettle On?
10. In Tuna (…and salmon: Get your omega 3 fish oils!)
11. I Say Grace Amazingly
12. The Chocolate Song
(That last song was recorded just after Hayley ate a whole bar of chocolate as an experiment to see if it would effect her voice. It did. She sang one note out-of-key (It was beyond the range of human hearing but, hey, whatever!).
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Post by jons on Nov 21, 2006 15:20:06 GMT
The lyrics to the song ‘Hayley’s Space Odyssey’ have been made available:
Hayley’s Space Odyssey.
If only I could move the Moon five miles to the left
And we could fly on into the Sun without hassle
As I drift though space with no explanation of how I could breath,
I see your face for the first time and its all pimply
Angels will watch over me, [deleted by admin].
And my dreams will come true, which I hope they do,
because I had one about Brad Pitt last night
But I hope the one about meeting my heart doesn’t
As it was all red and gooey
(Maori tribesmen interlude) [deleted by admin]
I’m on a collision course with a solar flare
As I brace myself and fill my mind with poetic geometry,
I’m sure I heard an echo from a star calling me
But the song was different (a re-mix probably) and its starts to get a bit warmer,
As I move through the flare (Which looks a little like Scarborough).
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Post by comet on Nov 21, 2006 15:27:23 GMT
Hi Jon
Re: Hayley's space odyssey
What tune should we be singing this to;
Bowies Space Oddity ?
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Post by jons on Nov 24, 2006 14:26:28 GMT
There was nothing offensive about that song, now its looks as if they is. Its just an excuse to upset me.  I've had enough. Distasteful? Ask Hayley. |
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Post by jons on Nov 24, 2006 16:32:08 GMT
I've made it clear a number of times how much I adore Hayley, if people are offended by a few daft lines of a song, then you obviously don't know me.
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Post by nealwsyrette on Nov 24, 2006 17:37:36 GMT
Don't get upset Jon... there is nothing wrong with wanting to share humour, just as long as it is done with a little tact... Everyone sees humour differently and from different angles, which would explain why it is so sharp for some and dull for others... LOL Remember this is the "Hayley Westenra International" Forum. There are probably quite a few people here from around the world... ( Didn't you post this stuff on the other forum as well... lol I think its time to get some new material there Jon...LOL)  |
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Post by bobcochran on Nov 26, 2006 17:18:19 GMT
I'm a comedy addict. I love Buster Keaton, Harold Lloyd, W.C. Fields, the Marx Brothers, Laurel & Hardy. Woody Allen's early funny movies like "Take the Money and Run" and "Sleeper," Mel Brook's "Producers," "Blazing Saddles" and "Young Frankenstein." "Airplane" and the "Naked Gun" movies are fun.
I'm also a big fan of the the Ealing comedies, The Goons, "''Round the Horne." the Goodies, Monty Python, ' Dave Allen at Large," Peter Cook & Dudley Moore, "I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again" and "I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue," "Dad's Army," "Red Dwarf," "Black Books" and "Father Ted."
I always try to catch the "News Quiz, "Old Harry's Game" and "Giles Wemmbley-Hogg Goes Off" when Radio 4 airs new episodes.
I'm also fond of Armando Iannucci's "On the Hour," "Day Today" and Alan Partridge series.
Billy Connolly, Ross Noble, Milton Jones and Steven Wright are my current favourite stand up comics.
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Post by bobcochran on Nov 26, 2006 18:08:03 GMT
I got a good laugh when I heard this one:
Britain
The Times November 18, 2006
'Dragon' sausages burnt by trade laws
By Simon de Bruxelles
A SPICY sausage known as the Welsh Dragon will have to be renamed after trading standards’ officers warned manufacturers that they could face prosecution because it does not contain dragon.
The sausages will now have to be labelled Welsh Dragon Pork Sausages to avoid any confusion among customers.
Jon Carthew, 45, who makes the sausages, said yesterday that he had not received any complaints about the absence of real dragon meat. He said: “I don’t think any of our customers believe that we use dragon meat in our sausages. We use the word because the dragon is synonymous with Wales.”
His company, the Black Mountains Smokery at Crickhowell, in Powys, turns out 200,000 sausages a year, including the Welsh Dragon, which is made with chilli, leek and pork. A Powys County Council spokesman said: “The product was not sufficiently precise to inform a purchaser of the true nature of the food.”
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Post by grant on Nov 26, 2006 19:17:11 GMT
I also heard this one - bureaucracy gone mad!! Whoever would have believed it?, Welsh Dragons are now so rare that the chance of catching one to put in sausages is too far fetched for belief!!  Grant |
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Post by Richard on Nov 27, 2006 9:32:41 GMT
Hello Bob and Grant!  If the Welsh Dragon sausage contains enough chilli, it should set your breath on fire!  Richard |
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Post by Belinda on Nov 27, 2006 12:22:35 GMT
Hi What made me laugh today was Billy Connolly on the program Billy Connolly's World Tour of New Zealand.   Belinda NZ |
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Post by grant on Nov 27, 2006 19:24:58 GMT
Reading one of Postscripts recent posts referring to the use of expletives, reminded me of a amusing tale told me by a close friend.
Upon receiving a particularly stupid memo at work, my friend was in the mood to add something at the bottom, but not too rude should 'the boss' happen to see it.
Instead of adding a certain five letter word, he inserted Round Objects!
The memo came back endorsed "Who is Round and what does he object to?"
case rests m'lud!
Grant
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Post by postscript on Nov 27, 2006 19:53:26 GMT
I'm a comedy addict. I love Buster Keaton, Harold Lloyd, W.C. Fields, the Marx Brothers, Laurel & Hardy. Woody Allen's early funny movies like "Take the Money and Run" and "Sleeper," Mel Brook's "Producers," "Blazing Saddles" and "Young Frankenstein." "Airplane" and the "Naked Gun" movies are fun. I'm also a big fan of the the Ealing comedies, The Goons, "''Round the Horne." the Goodies, Monty Python, ' Dave Allen at Large," Peter Cook & Dudley Moore, "I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again" and "I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue," "https://i.postimg.cc/9fYxy370/smilie-big-grin.gifad's Army," "Red Dwarf," "Black Books" and "Father Ted." I always try to catch the "News Quiz, "Old Harry's Game" and "Giles Wemmbley-Hogg Goes Off" when Radio 4 airs new episodes. I'm also fond of Armando Iannucci's "On the Hour," "https://i.postimg.cc/9fYxy370/smilie-big-grin.gifay Today" and Alan Partridge series. Billy Connolly, Ross Noble, Milton Jones and Steven Wright are my current favourite stand up comics. Delighted to hear this from you Bob. I had in mind a post about silent film work and slapstick versus verbal play on words and you bring in the great age of arguably the best comics of all time. Peter S. |
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Post by postscript on Nov 27, 2006 19:57:55 GMT
I got a good laugh when I heard this one: Britain The Times November 18, 2006 'Dragon' sausages burnt by trade laws By Simon de Bruxelles A SPICY sausage known as the Welsh Dragon will have to be renamed after trading standards’ officers warned manufacturers that they could face prosecution because it does not contain dragon. The sausages will now have to be labelled Welsh Dragon Pork Sausages to avoid any confusion among customers. Jon Carthew, 45, who makes the sausages, said yesterday that he had not received any complaints about the absence of real dragon meat. He said: “I don’t think any of our customers believe that we use dragon meat in our sausages. We use the word because the dragon is synonymous with Wales.” His company, the Black Mountains Smokery at Crickhowell, in Powys, turns out 200,000 sausages a year, including the Welsh Dragon, which is made with chilli, leek and pork. A Powys County Council spokesman said: “The product was not sufficiently precise to inform a purchaser of the true nature of the food.” If I go further than a simple comment I shall be ticked off for being political. I will only say that is probably (in origin) everything to do with a self-important town called Brussels and EU directives and nothing what ever to do with Wales or the UK! Peter S. |
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Post by postscript on Nov 27, 2006 20:45:00 GMT
Hi What made me laugh today was Billy Connolly on the program Billy Connolly's World Tour of New Zealand. Belinda NZ Will you share it with us, Belinda? Peter S. |
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