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Post by postscript on Aug 29, 2006 7:14:48 GMT
Well done, Richard. Yes, the only way to practice is share some more. Peter. |
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Post by postscript on Aug 29, 2006 7:26:38 GMT
Aaah, and as i catch up with the mail I find indeed you have responded to Richard's request and there we have 'Star of Hayley'. A lovely expression in words to match the best of our photographers' efforts, Jon. Thank you..
Peter
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Post by jons on Aug 29, 2006 14:03:24 GMT
Aaah, and as i catch up with the mail I find indeed you have responded to Richard's request and there we have 'Star of Hayley'. A lovely expression in words to match the best of our photographers' efforts, Jon. Thank you.. Peter Thank you Peter.  I do seem to associate Hayley with stars a lot. She is a star!  |
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Post by jons on Oct 8, 2006 11:56:58 GMT
This isn't a poem about Hayley, but I thought it would show the improvements in my poetic writing.
A flower breathes
Through earth it fought
It journeys though the soil
To greet the day
It makes friends with the air
The sun it cherishes
It worships the clouds
For they love this flower
And feed it with friendly rain
It is now part of natures family
As every element works as one
Even forgiving the storms anger
But peaceful existence isn’t guaranteed
A metal jaw approaches
An animal ridden by flesh and bone
Digging the ground, upturning the earth
The flower can do nothing
It is soon separated from its loving family
The flower lies in the jaw of the beast
On top of the separated earth
It may have been but one flower on its patch
But was loved by nature like an only child
The flower is now buried in the earth it once fought
A place the sun or rain will never reach
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Post by jons on Oct 9, 2006 13:49:31 GMT
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Post by jons on Oct 11, 2006 15:29:36 GMT
I've just found out my poetry's complete rubbish apparently. Is there anyway to delete this whole thread?
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Post by postscript on Oct 11, 2006 16:19:25 GMT
I've just found out my poetry's complete rubbish apparently. Is there anyway to delete this whole thread? In response: - Who said so and what is their authority and own contribution to the art?
- Possibly you rushed to press but why should their view over-ride your own?
- We all lack confidence at times as well as over-confidence and self-delusion. Are you sure you are balanced in your latest post?
By all means delete your own posts but I think you made a contribution, however inadvertently, to a debate on creativity which has value in its own right even if you delete your own posts that started the debate. Peter S. |
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Post by jons on Oct 11, 2006 16:58:18 GMT
The views from a personal forum showed complete uninterest. Because that said forum is as honest as you can get, there must be something wrong with what I've written. Some of the people who visit Hayley's Official forum know I have problems which I'm trying to sort out. However this recent evidence is not delusional. I felt when I made that last post that despite what some people had said the whole poetry thing just isn't working.
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Post by postscript on Oct 11, 2006 18:17:26 GMT
The views from a personal forum showed complete uninterest. Because that said forum is as honest as you can get, there must be something wrong with what I've written. Some of the people who visit Hayley's Official forum know I have problems which I'm trying to sort out. However this recent evidence is not delusional. I felt when I made that last post that despite what some people had said the whole poetry thing just isn't working. That's fine Jon. I better understand where you are at and I am sorry if the point escaped me at the time. I think that lack of positive response is an indicator of a lack of endorsement which might be taken as this site's polite or sympathetic way of saying 'not our cup of tea' and one should be aware of that interpretation. This is in many ways a gentle site of fellow empathy. Especially if one takes into context, as one end of the yardstick, where people wax lyrical sometimes most positively at members' contributions. When you receive not just numbers but diversity of people making the same positive comment then you may feel confident that someone is saying something worthwhile. When there is none, one should pay heed that one may be on the wrong track but when only a few positive comments, not all are making the effort of expressing their agreement. I often hold back from a positive comment simply because others have made such positive contribution or it is a subject in which I have not a great knowledge or interest, or simply because I have made so many posts in so short a time I censor myself from adding more at that point. By the time I return the world has moved on! However, as I said in one of my posts in this thread, although not quite in this way, reflection is an important aspect of self-criticism and reflection requires time. This is why so much journalism is so shoddy--it is rushed to press, lacking that reflective quality. Poetry should most certainly NOT be rushed to press. It requires careful honing, not just in the multifarious- meanings of words, but the balance and nuance of each, working with the others. This is why it can be a very good therapy and from that viewpoint I would suggest you continue to use it, then look back later to see how you were expressing yourself at that time and to see how else you would express yourself at that later stage. If it helps, I have only produced one volume of verse and there were other than creative reasons as to why that time was chosen. Of some 200 poems available then, many of which have or will be destroyed and would never be considered for publication, nonetheless they remain useful exercises. That left perhaps 100 or so poems I could seriously consider. It was then a question of balance for variety, connectivity and I am not sure the end result did not fall in favour of number for making the necessary 60-odd pages to make a book technically practical in terms of manufacture, rather than strict adherence to an ideal of 'quality' consistency. Looking back on it now I see the dedication was 'To my parents--a long gestation and a late delivery'! I am a muller and like to look back after many weeks or months on any creativity. Some would replace the first 'l' with two d's to describe my antics! Hopefully Jon, even if you feel only like hovering, the banter and camaraderie here will help to soothe a bumpy passage in your life. Peter S. |
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Post by jons on Oct 13, 2006 13:25:58 GMT
Thank you for the reply Peter. My work was completely ignored while other posters got many replies for works that are really no better than what I have written. I got so upset with this progress, especially on a site thats meant to encourage recovery. I had come to the conclusion that nobody was interested anywhere. |
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Post by jons on Oct 13, 2006 13:59:05 GMT
I've gone and spoilt the whole thread. I hope Hayley doesn't read this.  |
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Post by Andrew on Oct 13, 2006 14:22:59 GMT
Hi Jon and Peter, Jon, don't be discouraged by the fact that you haven't received a wave of responses back re your poetry... As I am sure you will already know a work of art can often be a "labour of love"! Do you remember "Rog" the portrait painter on Hayley's Official Website Forum? He received only a few posts in response to his idea about producing a portrait of Hayley for charity. Whilst he received some positive comments, he also received a lot of negative feedback from some Forum members, merely on the basis that he was planning to produce his portrait painting from a photograph as opposed to a live model (this would have proved totally impractical due to Hayley's time contraints anyway!) Sharing one's art is sharing one's personal expression or "bearing one's soul". That can take a lot of "guts" to do!  You have to be prepared for both acceptance and rejection! Take care, Andrew |
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Post by jons on Oct 13, 2006 14:40:54 GMT
Hi Andrew, Thanks. I have given up on the site that caused me to react like this. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. I am going to try harder though. |
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Post by postscript on Oct 13, 2006 16:50:21 GMT
I've gone and spoilt the whole thread. I hope Hayley doesn't read this. Don't worry. I think appropriate measures have been taken through the collective whole to remedy. If its any consolation, i am often in trouble for being too outspoken, going off topic or being political, or sometimes using the main board when I should have used a PM! We're human. None of us get it right the whole time. We just try to remember to do better next time! Peter S. |
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Post by jons on Oct 14, 2006 13:52:17 GMT
This is the first poem I ever wrote. A member of Hayley's official site inspired me(Now, he did write a poem that did Hayley justice!)
Its not very good, but you can see some improvements have been made in my later poems.
HAYLEY
When she sings
She lifts you up
She gives you hope
And brings you joy
When she smiles
She bares her soul
Her heart is pure
And so sincere
When she gives
She gives her all
To aid the needy
To help their plight
When she dreams
Her thoughts immersed
She's just beginning
Her path so brilliant
When we dream
Our hearts inspired
We see her future
We are loyal to the end
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