I saw the following article on the internet and thought I would share it with all of you as it affects every one of us
Press Release from World Health Organization 25th September 2009
WHO are concerned about a potential world-wide pandemic of a highly contagious neurological disease called Hayleyitis. It is reported that the disease originally started in New Zealand but rapidly spread to the United Kingdom. There have also been outbreaks in Asia (with a suspected outbreak occurring in Taiwan currently). America has had the disease in the past but only travelers to the UK seem to be the only Americans currently affected. The cause of the disease has been tracked to one individual currently residing in London. How the disease spreads is unknown but appears that close contact with the known carrier can pass the disease from person to person. Although it is thought that this disease is not fatal it is of a concern how easily this disease can spread. One particular concern is that the Armed Forces of the UK are very susceptible to this disease.
Symptoms People who come in close contact with the carrier of the disease have reported the following symptoms:- -Skin perspires a lot, especially the hands and face. -Temporary loss of speech and/or cannot talk properly. -Facial muscles seize into a temporary grin. -Mass Hysteria in the extreme cases where crowds burst into spontaneous hand clapping and cheering for no reason.
Treatment There is no known cure for this disease but it appears removing yourself from the source and complete rest for several days can relieve the symptoms. Some people said that taking alcohol can also help.
Recommendations It is the opinion of WHO that to stop the spread of this disease the carrier should be quarantined permanently to New Zealand. However there are some disillusioned Americans who think that they could look after this person. There is also a concern that long absence from the UK could potentially cause riots from the infected people living there. Continued monitoring of the carrier is therefore the best recommendation at this stage.
So be worried people (No it is not the 1st April yet)
I am aware of Hayleyitis in fact, I have been a sufferer for some four years now. However, I don't agree with the WHO prognosis that it is a disease and prefer to think of it as a condition. They are correct in saying that there is no known cure but I know a large number of sufferers and all agree that that is one of the best things about the condition.
It is true that Hayleyitis has a number of unusual side effects although, once sufferers get used to them, they are very easy and also quite pleasant to deal with.
I would also add that Hayleyitis is know to have very theraputic side effects; is a valuable aid against stress and is highly likely to result in the sufferer becoming a much nicer and more considerate person. This is the result of the only known carrier being such a special person who constantly and consistently does wonderful things for humanity as well as for her large band of sufferers.
As has been reported elsewhere, Hayleyitis is most commonly found in the UK, New Zealand and large parts of Asia which requires the carrier to make frequent visits to these areas and to undertake a large number of therapy sessions which have been given the title of 'concert' in view of the concerted efforts required by the carrier in order to appease the more prolific sufferers.
It is rumoured that an eminent physician who believed he had found a cure for Hayleyitis has been taken into protective custody by the New Zealand Secret Service and his whereabouts is unknown.
Yes, I know all about it. I remember the day when once you, Dr Grant, diagnosed me as a sufferer, al
though I don't really acknowledge that there is any suffering as such. At that time I was confused, not knowing what it was I had contracted. And this is a characteristic of the condition, the sufferer does not want to be cured, and there is therefore no posiblily that they ever will be.
But for me, believe it or not, I also experienced pre-Hayleyitis This is a recognition that I was a "sufferer" before the one known source was even born! I has to do with listening to female singers, and realising that none of them was quite right, and a feeling, a premonition, that there would one day be one who would be special, and would fill this void in my life. And so it proved. When I first heard her, I knew within ten seconds that she was THE ONE. I was instantly infected, and have been a carrier ever since, and have done my best to infect as many people as possible.
There is only one way to avoid Hayleyitis, and that is to become deaf. Perhaps Led Zeppelin at 2000 decibels might do it, but as long as you can hear, you remain vulnerable.
But that being said, there are no known bad effects, except perhaps on the wallet. You will feel the need to attend certain performances, and to purchase certain records, which, especially if you live in unfavoured parts of the world, could prove expensive.